(or somesuch interrogation)
Mark Twain, hands down. Once any thinking person escapes his less interesting school-reading-list offerings, his wit, humor, bite and charm are so captivating. There is something of a kindred spirit there for me. I'd be comfortable with him walking around in the trails of my life.
Or Oscar Wilde, for much the same reason.
Maybe I could just have Dorothy Parker summarize me in a few snarky lines.
That would be as fitting as anything I can imagine.
What about you? Who would you choose?